Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
