It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
