it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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