Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
