goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
