Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
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For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
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I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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