I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
