Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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