The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
