i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
