Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
