and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
