Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize