Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
