Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize