k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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