I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
And then he peed in my hair
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