My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
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I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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