i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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