best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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