So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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