Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
