My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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