Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
