If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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