Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
false alarm, still single
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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