Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
