yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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