But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
