I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I didn't notice because vodka
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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