no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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