Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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