I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he fucked my hip out of place.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
