she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
