$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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