Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize