Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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