You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
