I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
