Princesses don't give blow jobs
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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