You're completely useless in the revolution.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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