Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
