my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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