Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
