I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
