well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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