oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
