Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
