I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
