He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
