I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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