Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
