so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
my liver is dry heaving
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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