im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
