so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
