Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
