sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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