Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
