I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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