I'm eating all of the evidence.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
