Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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