so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
