like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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