i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
